Finding the balance...

I think this is one question I am asked more than any other... The how do you find balance question. I ask my mom about this sometimes... she used to run a company with my father and raised three kids and also was searching for balance. She always seemed so cool and collected to me... made time to get her hair done, was chic and interesting, always put a fabulous meal on the table for a family dinner every night, and still came to all the sporting games, etc! She didn't overthink it... and I am trying to follow in her footsteps!!

I will do my best to demystify what you may think about how I find balance... Perhaps this will stir up even more questions... for all of us. Just know that I, too, am still learning!

Perfection. I ditched the notion of "perfection" long ago. I'm not even sure it was ever a part of me. I knew in life striving for balance was key. I see people that want perfect... and it's a wee bit scary if you ask me. What is perfect anyway?? A lawn with no brown spots? (Who is looking?)... A hair not out of place? (Ewww... a little bed head is far sexier!) No dirt on the floor? (Oh, puleeeazze!!! What is the point of it... too much stress if you ask me.) I'm more of a... this is how I like it, sure it's got its bumps, but at least it is moving forward and in the direction that pleases me... and sister, I am all about "the living"... kind-of-a-girl! Do you read me?? This is my number one rule of finding balance... Perfection is a great ulcer builder.

Date Night. This one is simple... or at least it is to me. I am not saying you need to spend a fortune... but you can certainly benefit from some time with the hubby... or whomever it is you dig! It does take some planning... and possibly some favors. (Grandma... friends...?) I figure in the end it will cost us far less than any marriage counseling would... And really, I love this guy, and being with him (without the kiddies now and again) is something that is a top priority for finding balance. Now if you are a single person, then a date with you and you alone, or whomever, is still a major bonus... good Lord, go see a movie, or get your nails done... but by all means, do something for YOU!!!!

The Clean House. I know... It's my fantasy too. But again, who is looking that closely? I have been known to walk around with a rag and the spray bottle squirting at anything that isn't moving... but, getting all lathered up over the house not being all spiffy is something I did need to learn once our 4 little boys started kicking up the dust. Mind you….I have my "moments"... My are you all kidding me, do I look like I'm your *^%#$@#$&* full-time servant?!?! (moments)... But mostly toys are strewn about... and a row of crumbs seems nearly permanent under the kitchen counter where the boys eat breakfast... and I now have my kids cleaning the toilets (don't worry, non toxic cleaners... yippee!!!) since the stream (the pee-pee stream for those of you with girls) seems to only make it into the bowl partially... the other part flows down the porcelain sides and neatly pools on the ledge and forms a solid layer in a few short hours. (Too much information...?) And the dog is always wet, and then she walks through dirt... Most of the drawers and closets are tidy and organized... but by God I do have junk drawers... and I celebrate them!! Where the hell else do the little things go? Basically, we do our best... and if you came over, you would see a pretty clean house in decent order, with a happy family that is really living there.

Make a Decision. I suppose because time is short I make fairly quick decisions on most everything. I think it helps me move forward on many things without any one thing sitting on my brain and draining the life out of me. Now it's not to say that I don't have major life decisions that need to be pondered... and sometimes a bit of time does help. But generally I don't let the little things... (paint colors, garden this and that, entertaining... blah, blah, blah) sit with me for too long... that just sucks the life out of me.

Don't Get your Undies in a Bundle. We all have things that we get bent out of shape over... and mostly I really try hard be as easy going as I can be. My husband calls me easy going but intense. I am Type A, there is no question, so I have had to learn over the years when and how to push... and when and how to stop... aka, balance!

Be a Planner. This goes hand-in-hand with everything above and allows those things to happen more easily. I am a planner... but I am aware I am NOT an over-planner. This would backfire for me as I need holes in my schedule to feel as human as possible. When too much is in my schedule I start to feel the tilt of balance fall off... and I don't like that feeling. So I try to plan when and where it makes sense for me, for our company, and for our family. I try to see what is directly in front of me, and then down the road and off to the sides. This way I can zig and zag and feel OK with whichever way it all falls.

No Worrying Allowed! Easy to say, I know, but I try very hard to not be a worrier. I find it drains all my energy, and is mostly unnecessary. So I avoid it at all costs. I try to view things in my life as natural progressions, even when they go downhill or become difficult sometimes... and yes, that happens to all of us. I try to see most everything as an opportunity... to learn, to grow, etc. It's easy to assume other people don't have problems that they are dealing with... Believe me, WE ALL DO... It's just a matter of how you choose to view and handle them.

Keep it Simple. Dinner... entertaining... wardrobe... hair... relationships... plans... life! You may not believe this coming from me, the woman who loves layers... layers of life. But in the midst of it all... I am ever striving to keep it simple... an ever-evolving lesson for me. I will always be learning... but I am pretty sure I've got the hang of it... Well, most of the time!!!